Monday, 12 December 2011

And you think it's gonna sell?

It's the run-up to Christmas.  Products spring up left right and centre vying for our attention.  In this consumer age, slogans  images and brand names can make or break a product.

So, given all this, what in <insert deity of choice here> name were those over paid advertising execs thinking on these?

It's fair to say that these products were not brought out for christmas, but at this time of year you are generally more likely to have a greater number of products infron of your eyes.  All the more reason for a little effort in the sales pitch.

Exhibit #1: The Image.

"Recently slammed a door on your hand?  Been run over?  Perhaps you're an alien form the 70s series Invaders and the weather is just getting a little too cold for your dodgy pinkie.
Now, for only 28.99, you can get those disfigured digits warm again!"

Perhaps Roger was right, smoking does make your fingers fall off.

Exhibit #2: The Name
"The new, Acme Working Dog Whistle.  Blow on it and it works!
For just 5.45 you too can own this fully functional whistle, complete with out flaws, issues or defects.
Perhaps that's too steep for you folks who like to spend all their money on something else.. for just 2.00 buy this Acme Broken Dog Whistle instead..."

Exhibit #3: The Slogan
According to the advert that accompanies this product it gives hours of "non-stop popping, ball-dropping fun".

Not quite what I would look for in a childs toy.

All that time money and effort, and what do they get?  Ill thought out and poorly conceieved marketing. 

One often quoted rule of selling stuff is to never over estimate the intelligence of your customers.  I think an additional rule should be defined that states you also should not assume your customers are brainless morons willing to spend thier hard-earned on the first product that bounces up infront of thier eyes with a sales pitch of "go on... you know you want to..."